Can Your Gender Help You Close the Deal?

No question, workplace conventions about sex keep evolving. Professional behavior and customs continuously shift to accommodate changes in sex roles and the latest etiquette of gender equality.

Early on, “girls” stopped getting coffee and running personal errands for male bosses. Over the years, male nurses have stopped being taken for doctors nearly as often.

Masters of the universe may still be excluding women associates in bonding rites on the golf course or at the club. However, the guys also are making deals as cheerleaders on the sidelines while their daughters play soccer.

 Even office romances, previously considered shocking breaches of business decorum, have turned into a big yawn (absent any hint of coercion, of course). Many companies have drafted written policies that explicitly permit employee dating.

 Habits are in transition

“We’ve been taught to be gender-neutral in the workplace,” says Theresa Zagnoli, CEO of Chicago-based consultancy Zagnoli McEvoy Foley. “But most of those rules had to do with language, touching and artifacts, like hanging up a pinup calendar in your office. The rules didn’t — or couldn’t — include nonverbal behavior, like tipping your chin a certain way or looking into someone’s eyes or smiling.”

 Nowadays, says Zagnoli, whose clients are mostly male lawyers seeking help with communications or jury selection, “we’re much more comfortable with both kinds of behavior.”

 Increasingly, gender is being defined as style not substance, as in the past. We appear to be shedding the suffocating notion that being equal means being the same.

 So, is it OK to make eyes at a prospect?

If we’re more relaxed today about gender characteristics and differences in professional settings, is it OK to start harnessing sexual wiles to help build business relationships?

That depends on whom you ask.

A growing number of entrepreneurs, sales trainers and communications coaches say that being overtly womanly or distinctly manly can be used to your advantage in winning business. Others are sure that such selling tactics are risky and inappropriate at best and, at worst, a throwback to the days of rigidly defined discriminatory sex roles.

 And, surprise, surprise, most of this new gender attention is on women, because they’re newer to positions of power and because they’re still working out the balance between acting feminine and combating old sexualized prejudices.

Summing up the pro camp, entrepreneur Laura Silverthorn says it’s a new ballgame for women: “As long as men have testosterone, I feel all is fair in love and business.” The 30-something Philadelphia-based founder of Mother Ink, which sells custom-designed temporary tattoos online, emphasizes that while your wares and products must be up to par, “harmless flirtation may get you the face time you need to pitch.”

And for the opposition: “This topic comes up with almost every client we work with and is one of the greatest pitfalls a woman can find herself inadvertently falling into,” says Christopher Flett, author of "What Men Don't Tell Women About Business” and founder of Ghost CEO, an international professional development service for women.

 “Already sexualized by the men they are working with, playing the ‘flirt card’ will not only undermine them as an equal, but will likely draw unwanted attention down the road. Women need to avoid this at all costs,” says Flett.

When it comes to same-sex interactions, most experts and business owners say they’d be cautious about flirting during business meetings.

He also cautions women about girlfriend-style bonding. “It is always better to be extremely professional rather than treating other women like 'girlfriends' and sharing things that might come back to bite you.”

 Playing the gender card

If you do decide to take the risk, can harnessing sex advantages to pitch business really help you close a deal?

 Los Angeles psychotherapist Nancy Irwin says professional flirting certainly can land you a deal, but you need sensitive antennae for timing, personality and circumstances to map your prospect’s personal boundaries.

 Keep your eye on nailing the sale

As the lines between professional and personal blur, it’s easy to lose sight of the goal. Remember that you’re not just trying to gain the client’s attention. You want to secure the business, but without selling yourself short or getting into something you don’t want to do.

 John Nelson, a veteran sales coach with Sandler Training in Aurora, Colorado, says that women, in particular, often lose the distinction between prospect and purchaser.

 “Sex will always play a part in women’s sales to men,” says Nelson. “Each woman I’ve coached has had to negotiate her own path, but there is one similarity that has always come through: Their sex is a double-edged sword.”

 According to Nelson, the male-female dynamic plays out this way: First, women generally get appointments with male prospects quickly. “Women are naturally better at bonding and rapport” while “men’s egos make it easier for a saleswoman to start the sales process.”

But “it’s more difficult for a man to say no to a woman than to another man,” he says. As a result, “most of the women I’ve coached have too many prospects that will never buy.” The men don’t want to say no but they aren’t going to say yes, either. “They offer stalls and ‘think-it-overs’ instead of a decision,” says Nelson. The saleswoman ends up wasting her time on prospects that remain in the pipeline instead of looking for new opportunities.

Bottom line: For men or women, sex can get you in the game, but you need old-time talent, persuasion skills and negotiation to seal the sale.

Don’t turn up the sexual volume indiscriminately

What may be fun and flirtatious for some will be sexually offensive to others. That often depends on your client’s age and cultural mindset.

“If your audience is a married baby boomer or traditionalist, he may personally appreciate feminine wiles but perceive such behavior as unprofessional, which would, obviously, work against you,” advises Sherri Elliott, founder of Gen InsYght, an HR consultancy based in Plano, Texas, specializing in generational consulting.

“On the other hand, a less traditional Gen Xer or Millennial may not mind. You have to take the time to read who you're talking to before you decide to turn on the sexual charm.”

Bottom line: If you’re using your gender advantage, take account of timing, local traditions and real-time circumstances.

Do stay up to speed about how men are changing

Men also are reinventing the business relationship. And younger men are not joining old-boy networks.

Steven Muntean, age 25 and CEO of BlackBox GPS in Boca Raton, Florida, a mobile tracking solutions provider, says, “In my personal business experiences, I have come to the conclusion that absolutely, yes, your sex can help you close the deal.”

Being young, accomplished and male, says Muntean, are advantages he’s learned to leverage. “Male and female prospects and customers enjoy being around young, successful men,” he says. For male senior executives and business owners, “median age 50,” Muntean believes “young, successful males rekindle pasts and help bring back fun memories.” For female senior executives and business owners, “I feel like they want to help young males become successful.”

Bottom line: Deepen your business connections by being personal, familiar and true to your gender–as you experience it.

Joanna L. Krotz writes about small-business marketing and management issues. She is the co-author of the "Microsoft Small Business Kit" and runs Muse2Muse Productions, a New York City-based custom publisher.

 Source:Business on main